Strong desire overcomes fear

I had the conversation I planned to have this week with my boss, in which I was pretty transparent about the uncertainty of my plans for the future.

Telling your boss that you are not completely sure you plan to keep working at a place is a conversation I would not have had a year ago.

Why was it possible to do this now? Because I know what I want to do. And if I can keep doing that where I work, I will, but if I can’t then I am pretty sure I am going to leave.

I am more afraid of giving up on my vision for the next year than I am of getting fired. I have something I really want, and my other fears are starting to become small and irrelevant.

And that all felt really possible and good yesterday, but today I am feeling under the weather, and had to deal with 2 production incidents in the last 48 hours, deal with a home improvement project and some miscommunications with the contractor, and then my wife is accosted by an insane person at a grocery store parking lot, and… I forget what else. It was a long day.

To be honest, all of those things are the kinds of things that typically set me up for a funky mood, and a lot of negative energy, and a lot of looking for reasons that I should quit. Because I’m tired.

But I somehow still managed to write the article I intended to write, and now I am writing this blog post to wrap up the day.

Quitting doesn’t mean you get to rest anyway. At least not in a restorative way. When you give up on your dreams, you end up feeling more tired.






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