I don’t know what to say

Husband wants me to blog… He’s got a point. I just looked back over the last few weeks of blog posts, and it’s husband, husband, husband, with a couple of cameos by me. So good job, husband, for keeping the blog running while I work through my complicated feelings in my head instead of on a page.

We got the shoe rack. That’s something. We also replaced a weird, awkward piece of furniture that came with the house, sat by the door for the last 4 years, and did not serve our needs. So in the case of the hallway, at least, we’re making great strides toward order and wonder. Order at least.

I have done absolutely nothing businessy/money-making related for the last month at least. To be fair, I’ve been going through some serious stuff. And the stuff is ongoing and the end date is fuzzy. But maybe there is no end date to serious stuff.

I have not cleaned the stove for a few days. I did scoop the litter box yesterday, but I fear my valiant efforts will go unnoticed, as the cat continues to produce excrement at a healthy rate.

What is keeping me from doing the things I want to do? I think not wanting to do them. I know that cleaning the stove will make my world better, and will fill me with the energy of a woman with a clean stove. I know that prioritizing my morning shower over all the other things that have to get done will actually help me to get all those other things done. But I’m tired, and my desire for the things I desire is less than my desire to avoid the extra work of procuring the things I desire. I think maybe I need to want things more. Or maybe not. Maybe I just need to say I’m going to do the things, and then find a way to do them. But I don’t want to…






Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *