Making Space

I am reflecting on my goal for the year. It’s all about creating some freedom and some space for myself to be able to do what it is I want to do.

But if you ask me “What do you want to do with that space?” I think most of my answers are things like “spending time with friends”, “reading books”, “playing with my kids”.

So why do I need to pay off all my debts to do that?

I don’t.

I could just do those things.

And this is maybe why this vision isn’t really connecting. The vision is more about a fear that I have.

I am afraid I will lose my space to create if I give myself that space now. I think I need to spend all my time and energy on things that provide value to other people, so that they will pay me, so that I can have a particular set of things.

And then some day (ha!) I will have a stable life and I can finally sit down and do the work I want to do.

Which is what?

This is to say, perhaps I’d be more interested in my goal if it was based on what I do want, instead of what I don’t want.

Is there something I really can’t do now because of my situation of being not-financially-independent?

Or do I simply want to do that so that I can have freedom?

And if I want this freedom (for no particular purpose) why don’t I just give it to myself now?

I could simply detach from all the things I own and we could simplify our lives so that we have more space. We could move somewhere cheaper.

But then again, maybe I could stay where I am and just negotiate things in my own life to make more space for myself. Or appreciate how much time I actually waste just not doing what I say I wish I had time to do.

Hit the limits of what you can do in your current situation, and then you’ll know what actually needs to change.