Not a good blogger; semi-final thoughts

I’m not being consistent with this blog, because it no longer represents to me what I want to do on an ongoing basis.

However, what I have gotten from the experience of coaching is this:

I am free. I can do this or I can do that, and I don’t need to make up a story about whether or not it means I’m lazy or stupid or unpopular or people are going to laugh at me, or that it matters if people laugh at me.

I can be me, and I don’t need to quit my job, and I don’t need to not quit my job. I can, or I could just slowly explore what’s interesting to me and keep taking action on something.

I want to grow because I like to grow.

I want financial independence because it would be nice.

But I don’t NEED either of those. I may want them, and I can take the actions to get them, and I can do it simply.

I can be simple and direct, and not create a lot of extra steps between where I am now and where I want to go.

I don’t need to be an online marketer to find customers. I just need to connect with people and solve problems and create value.

I don’t need to be anybody else. I can be me, and that can be enough.

I can be imperfect, and I don’t need to fix anything about myself.

I can be perfect, and still improve.

In short, I can just be where I’m at without making a whole thing out of any of it.

Am I that way all the time? No. I still get caught up in the internal head chatter. I still have lots of insecurities.

But I have glimpses of a more genuine and authentic way of being, where the false self can die, and pass away, and I can just be present to what God asks me to do at every moment, without “having too much to do”, because I can just be where I am doing what I’m doing, and let that be “what I have to do”.

So – definitely some growth, and from these changes I have started to see new results in how I am, and what I do, and eventually there may be some lagging indicators (like more wealth) but I don’t have to prove myself to myself. I feel free.