I was hoping this blog was going to be a place for mrs and I to reflect on our year together as it happened.
And that there would be huge things to report at the end of the year.
And there are some big things that have happened. There’s been massive shifts, and I may be embarking on a new career that is both exciting and a bit scary to me.
We have gotten over our hesitation to spend our money on doing the things that we want to do.
After years of complaining that my office was crowded and messy, I finally bought what I needed to buy to make it a more human environment, and now I have everything here I need.
After years of complaining my workshop was crowded, I finally am doing the project to create outdoor storage so I can move a bunch of things out of it.
After years of wanting to be financially independent, I am finally free to do that or not, but it’s not something that’s bothering me per se. I have the freedom I was looking for now, without needing to stop working. I’m free to do what I want, and I’m doing more and more of what I want all the time.
It’s not the change I started off aiming at, but it’s a big change, and there’s been real growth, and I am not the same person I was at the beginning of this journey.
Am I disappointed that I didn’t (yet) make a million dollars?
Not really. I might start pushing on those things again, but for now, I’m exploring doing the things I want to do, and I may do some things that are way scarier than the things I was initially avoiding.
I’m different, and I even see ways I could be radically more free, and radically more engaged in my life. I see a path to Really Living and I just need to keep taking the steps on that path.
Money, it turns out, was never really what I was after. It was the freedom to do what I want, and I discovered I have it. The desire for money evaporated after that, except insofar as I have enough to keep creating the life I want for my family.
So now the question is – what’s the dream for the life I want for my family, for myself, and what would that require?
That’s something I’m working on getting clear on, but I don’t need to know everything to take smaller actions to make things better.
I hope to develop a clear vision for a future, but I hope to also be comfortable just doing something fun and challenging and keeping my options semi-open. (i.e. 3-6 month sprints, instead of 5 year plans). I’m not that into 5 year plans, because I know I get bored and need something new.
Why label that as bad? Just let it be what it is until I really need it to be something else. Maybe work with myself instead of try to change everything about me.
You get to choose who you are, but you don’t get to choose all of who you are. Some of it is what God gives you, and some of it is what you do with that.
Your choices are unlimited but still constrained. The constraints aren’t always clear, which is why you have to have an adventure to find out who you can be.
So – onwards to the rest of the adventure, and if it seems worth posting an update here, I will.
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