I’ve been exploring IFS (Internal Family Systems) and discovering it has an awful lot that makes sense (at least experientially), although perhaps it’s a bit crazy in terms of an actual description of what a person really is.
But the one thing that really resonates is when we have a lot of internal points of view that are fighting with each other, creating tension, blocking us, getting really out of control.
Overcoming yourself IS ACTUALLY really hard. There is something inside of us that puts up massive resistance to change. In the IFS model it’s the homeostasis of the system.
In other words, the devil you know.
You can force yourself over the hump sometimes, but sometimes you push yourself so out of balance, things have a way of snapping back violently.
A gentler approach, a present loving approach… that’s what allows deeper insights to lead to lasting change. Understand the system and what it’s built for the sake of getting and avoiding, and help it to get there.
All that being said, I’m still very tired, and change is taking a long time. There’s os much to do in the “What we already have” space with kids etc, that doing something new is really not happening at the moment.
That slowness of progress is exhausting. Things feel hopeless at times.
But it only takes a few hours here and there to make fresh progress, and start to see that something can actually be done.
I hope we make it through the winter season of sickness in good enough spirits, and come out with a few things closer to action than before.
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