December Again

Having gotten nowhere and somewhere at the same time. Ending up in the same place, but perhaps being more grateful for it.

We had a lot of fun last year. We went to France. We tried some things.

I finally got a promotion at work.

Yet, I still feel the call to go on to something else.

And also feel the weight of everything that’s going on, and that weight sometimes makes me want to avoid everything, and keep plugging along, blindly, numbly, without too much hope.

Hope is a certain kind of pain – you want something to happen, but it’s not there yet, and it’s only because you believe you’re going to get that thing that you keep going.

Without hope, pain is unendurable.

And life is filled with pain, which makes life unendurable.

So – the question is what one should hope for.

What’s your hope rooted in?

Better be something that gets you through it.

Of course, the only thing that really works is to hope in God.

But even after you have that, you’re still going to have to spend your life in some way or another, and that requires smaller forms of hope, in things that need to happen on the way.