Stomach Flu; Recovery

Okay, so all this stuff I’ve been reading and working on about thoughts and choosing how you want to be in any given situation.

I still threw up about 2 liters on Christmas Eve.

As it turns out (as I mentioned in a previous post about what it means to choose your identity), reality is still real.

But as we are recovering, I am noticing some things.

About half way through today, I realized that I did not need to keep binging on TV. I haven’t watched TV in a while, and I don’t really enjoy it. Definitely some unnecessary escapism there.

What am I trying to escape anyway? Probably thoughts about how I have to do everything all by myself when the wife is sick (not true anyway, she’s pretty amazing, and if she’s actually resting, she must feel like garbage). Probably I’m just looking at this illness as an excuse to take a break, or to tell myself that I deserve a break (also not exactly true, b/c I feel pretty good overall).

Mostly, I’m still thinking thoughts. There was some reality of pain and throwing up. A lot of that was made worse from the feelings and thoughts I have about throwing up that causes insane levels of resistance so that the agony actually increases until I get to the point where I finally give in. I did a bit better this time and didn’t hold out quite so long.

But now I’m mostly better, but I’m still trying to play the “sick” card as though I personally need to keep resting. I don’t. I’m not that bad off, and I have what I need.

So –

As I was about to complete my last sentence, daughter came in to start putting things on my head, and shortly after son comes down to tell me his stomach hurts. But on the bright side, he is the last one, so we will all be healthy and non-contagious in a few more days.

So – that’s all real. But what do I want to do with the situation? How much of that situation is the part that I’m choosing? How much of my experience am I responsible for?






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