Author: mr

  • Update: Things are Moving

    I’m building a coaching business. We got back from France, and we loved it. We’re going to go again, God willing, and the mrs is learning the art of venoisserie from the French baking book. I’m continuing to get over my crazy, and learning to be peaceful. The question is when do I want to…

  • Travelling Abroad

    We are now in the middle-to-end of a 3 week trip in Europe, we are on an adventure with our family. The mrs bought tickets, and we suddenly had to get lodging, trains, and some new clothes for everyone (because we hadn’t been getting out of the house enough). What could life be like if…

  • Maybe the last post for a while

    I was hoping this blog was going to be a place for mrs and I to reflect on our year together as it happened. And that there would be huge things to report at the end of the year. And there are some big things that have happened. There’s been massive shifts, and I may…

  • Not a good blogger; semi-final thoughts

    I’m not being consistent with this blog, because it no longer represents to me what I want to do on an ongoing basis. However, what I have gotten from the experience of coaching is this: I am free. I can do this or I can do that, and I don’t need to make up a…

  • You already have it

    I did an exercise yesterday, where I placed myself in the future where I already had what I needed. I already accomplished what I wanted. “You already have freedom. Now what do you do?” “You already have friends and community. Now what do you do?” “Your health is amazing. Now what do you do?” “Your…

  • What’s not working?

    This journey has not been without benefits. But centrally, at the core, something is not working. That something is me. I’m not making this thing happen. Why? There is still a story, deep down inside, a rehearsed and well-trodden path, that I am allowing to color my perceptions. Every day, when you feel “tired” and…

  • The path is always there

    I’ve been avoiding the critical tasks, critical conversations, critical activities for starting a business. It’s really simple – find a customer. But instead of all that, I’ve been doing a lot of other activities that are like that but not that. When you find yourself drifting away from what you were going to do, do…

  • What story do you tell, even when it’s awful?

    Recently, I have been grieving the loss of a child who I will never get to hold. And when I think about this child who never got to be born, who died just a month into her short life on this planet, I think about all the things that will never happen as a result…

  • Doing versus Evaluating

    Where is your focus? On the thing you are doing, or on figuring out if you’re doing the thing you’re doing well? On the outcome you want, or on how you look when you’re trying to get there? Simply being mindful and present, and removing your thoughts from the situations in which they shouldn’t be…

  • Who do I decide to be?

    Reading about TBOLITNFL got me thinking about “Who I am” again. It’s a really interesting thing. Our future is created by the actions we take today. Now. What we do now happens because of how the situations around us occur to us. What looks possible. Part of what is possible comes from who we are.…

  • What Your Judgements are Costing You

    A friend pointed out to me, who I’ve been talking to, that when I’m driving, I tend to complain about the other drivers on the road a lot. “What’s with this guy?” “What an idiot” “People are crazy today” Somehow or another, the conversation ended up connecting something for me. All those casual commentaries on…

  • Just Today

    When I think about some of the changes I want to make in my life, they feel overwhelming. Too many flaws and defects in my thinking, too many things I have to root out and eliminate. Too many inclinations to fight. Outside of the problems with that mindset, it’s also overwhelming to extend it into…

  • Making Space

    I am reflecting on my goal for the year. It’s all about creating some freedom and some space for myself to be able to do what it is I want to do. But if you ask me “What do you want to do with that space?” I think most of my answers are things like…

  • Fear and Loathing

    What are you afraid of? Do you even have the courage to find out? Do you secretly hate yourself for cowering away from what you’re really going after? If the answer is yes, you’re not alone. I recently had a great call with my coach, where I asked him, based on what we’ve been looking…

  • Love the Climb

    If you can’t reward your brain for your daily activities, but only focus on the eventual results of your efforts, you’re going to burn out. If you aren’t getting a reward from the actions it takes to succeed, then you will not enjoy it, and your motivation will require more and more willpower. Somehow, you…

  • Getting to clarity

    Will my current job become a client? What can I expect there? What will I be able to get? As I’ve been having bolder conversations and asking for what I want, I haven’t been getting completely rebuffed. But I also wonder if it’s because a clear yes or no could risk me as an employee.…

  • Holding yourself accountable

    Am I really serious about reaching my goals? Do I have an idea of what I actually need to be doing by any given time? Am I clear? Do I actually reference these things? No, I generally avoid looking at progress if I’m afraid it’s going to “make me feel bad” about how things are…

  • Updates?

    When nobody probably reads your blog, you don’t really feel that obligated to keep writing. Who cares if I do or don’t? The answer ought to be: I do. I write for me, to work things out, and to share what I learn. All of this writing clarifies my thinking, and creates a record of…

  • Things are hard

    There’s a strong temptation to give up your agency, and wallow sometimes. Where’s it from? Not God. Praise the Lord for a good wife who helps me give up my BS.

  • What am I doing now?

    Seriously. When your goals occur to you as basically insane, how do you move forward? The answer is – you don’t. Or – you do. But does your moving actually accomplish those goals? That depends on what you do. But what you do depends on how things occur to you. So it’s very likely, if…